Darkness Falls

I am in a dark place again. I am feeling a lot like I did 10 years ago. I started my period two weeks early and the pms is really sucking. I am actually about done with that time of the month. And it was shorter than usual. But it hit me hard. I don't know what the f@#$##$ is going on with my mind right now. I am totally sad and just want my husband and kid to take care of themselves. I don't want to be the mother and wife today. Don't get me wrong I still love them very much. I am just tired of the responsibility right now. I really need a break. But of course my husband is sick. So I have mom duty 24/7. And of course this is nothing new for any mother. But it is getting to me.

And I am not getting enought sleep either. So I am just angry and yelling a lot. I don't want to be like that. Especially to my kid. He isn't doing anything terribly wrong. He is just getting on my nerves a lot. Plus he is potty training more seriously now. He is constantly taking off his diaper.

The messed up thing is that I don't really want to hang out with any of my friends right now either. And I am not really wanting anyone to necessarily comment. I just needed to get my feelings out. And this is the place I do that.

Hey the good thing is that I have been working on my work blogs a lot tonight. And yet it is very early morning. This not sleeping at night thing is sucking too. Plus I am listening to some pretty depressing music at the moment. But in another way it helps.