I am so fucking overwhelmed right now. I am currently on a Depression Bipolar Support Assocciation message board for friends and family. This is something that I have definintley needed. But as I am reading all of this I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. My husband's diagnosis seems so helpless. How do I stay married to someone who is going to be so all over the place. the money issues and the depression that I have felt as a result . This is so ludicrous. The feelings are so tumultuous. I want to see a light at the end of the tunnel and I just don't. I know that I just found this message board last night. And it is all to soon to tell. But damn it I am so tired of having these fucking ups and downs run my life. I want this to get better. I just don't know how. I think I am doing all of the right things. But who the fuck knows.

I probably look like I am handling all of this o.k. from the outside because most of the time I don't cry and feel bad. I go about my daily stuff. I take care of the kid. I clean the house. And I watch a lot of tv. I know not the best use of my time. but it is what I tend to do.

I have taken a few steps. I started Al Anon and I go once a week. I started excercising 3 times a week. And now I have this Bipoloar(BP) message board to go to. Why does it all have to take so long to feel like your are getting anywhere in your mind?

Does anyone have a clue?

Blessed Be