BlueGoddess
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Darkness Falls
I am in a dark place again. I am feeling a lot like I did 10 years ago. I started my period two weeks early and the pms is really sucking. I am actually about done with that time of the month. And it was shorter than usual. But it hit me hard. I don't know what the f@#$##$ is going on with my mind right now. I am totally sad and just want my husband and kid to take care of themselves. I don't want to be the mother and wife today. Don't get me wrong I still love them very much. I am just tired of the responsibility right now. I really need a break. But of course my husband is sick. So I have mom duty 24/7. And of course this is nothing new for any mother. But it is getting to me.
And I am not getting enought sleep either. So I am just angry and yelling a lot. I don't want to be like that. Especially to my kid. He isn't doing anything terribly wrong. He is just getting on my nerves a lot. Plus he is potty training more seriously now. He is constantly taking off his diaper.
The messed up thing is that I don't really want to hang out with any of my friends right now either. And I am not really wanting anyone to necessarily comment. I just needed to get my feelings out. And this is the place I do that.
Hey the good thing is that I have been working on my work blogs a lot tonight. And yet it is very early morning. This not sleeping at night thing is sucking too. Plus I am listening to some pretty depressing music at the moment. But in another way it helps.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
As a lot of you know I don't exactly get a long real well with my sister. She and I just have different points of view on pretty much everything. However she is about 5 months pregnant and is having a terrible problem. She has developed this terrible rash that only effects 1 in 60,000 pregnancies. And mostly effects women who have autoimmune disorders like hypothyroidism. Which she has. Mostly the thyroid thing just makes her tired and difficult to lose weight. And that, I don't really pay much attention when she complains. But this rash is called pemphigoid gestationis. And it has devistating effects. She will most likely get these terrible blisters that crust over and ooze all over her body. Right now it is in the early stage and is a really bad rash with little bumps all over her body that itch incessantly. Unfortuantely there is no cure. And the treatment sucks too. She can only use oral steroids to help the itching but not fix it completely. Plus the effects on the baby are unsure. And don't have the greatest track record. The rash will most likely last her entire pregnancy and for at least 2 months beyond. And if she wants to have more children in the future she would have to endure this again. The baby could get the rash as well. Most likely the baby wouldn't have it for long and no long lasting effects. But my sister could keep getting this until she reaches menopause. Just because of hormones. And the worst part is that her flesh could get necrotic and die off. She could end up with these black patches. Basically it is a lot like being a lepar (sp?). I looked it up and so did she. It really isn't a pretty picture.
But before I had a chance to look up all the pictures and info on the net I went searching through my herbal books and nutritional books for home remedies. I found a couple that might help. She could take a bath in mint leaves. She could use aloe vera, witch hazel, and take vitamins A, C, E. and Niacin. Plus there is this stuff called Collidial Silver that is a natural antibiotic. I told her all about the different things and she said that the aloe and the witch hazel was making it a little more bearable. I just hope she does o.k.
So please everyone pray for her and hope she gets some relief. She may even have to quit her job if it gets too bad. I wanted her to get some perspective on others and have some empathy. But I never wanted her to go through something so awful.
Blessed Be. I Love You Lolly!!!
There is a lot to say finally. I have a little time.
But first the reason I haven't been on in the last two days is a massive toothache. I think I have cracked or have a very deep cavity in my molar. Which totally sucks. And even though I was brushing my teeth like mad and taking a ton of ibuprofen, it wasn't helping. So I look in my medicine cabinet. And lo and behold my husband had some leftover pain killers from when he had a wisdom tooth pulled a couple of months ago. But it was Tylenol with codeine (sp?) Unfortunately I don't do well on narcotics. They always make me sick to my stomach and make me feel really weird. But it said to take it with food and I did. It delayed the effects for about an hour. But finally no pain!!! Yeah. And then the nausea hit. But the kid was taking a nap and so did I. Then the kid woke up and I was feeling miserable. The pain was gone but feeling sick to my stomach stayed. And my it was my husband's night out with his friends. So I had to get up and take care of the kid. Of course he was hungary and needed his diaper changed, and water for his sippy cup. Thank goddess that he is a tall kid. He was able to reach a couple of the things he needed and he helped out a lot. Finally my husband came home and helped put the kid to bed for the night and me too. We woke up really late today for the same reason. And my beautiful child is very sweet when I am ill. He wants to make it better. I love him so much. And unfortunately for my husband he now had a bad cold.
The weekend was eventful. I had a lot of people in town and a lot of things to do. One friend was in town, but not for fun. But it was so wonderful to see her. And then the next day my in laws came to town. I had to go to the Springs to visit a friend and to do a little bit of work for my new business venture. That was a lot of driving. Then I get back to Denver and my kid and husband aren't home. They are with the in laws. I knew they would be, but I was missing my family after being gone all day. Plus the weather was rainy and cold and it was a good night to stay inside and cuddle. The rest of the week was spent with the inlaws. Until our car broke down. It had all kinds of crap wrong with it. Thankfully my husband had the day off to spend with his family. So we took the car in to get fixed. It was supposed to cost over $1,200 for everything. So we couldn't afford that. We got only about half of the work done. And we couldn't affford that either. But my father in law came to the rescue and paid for it. Plus we hung out all day going to the mall and putt putt and a movie while they were fixing the car.
So it has been a busy week. Hopefully the weekend will be a little slower.
Blessed Be.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Too long between posts
I am sorry that I haven't posted anything in so long. But my last post is totally true. I haven't had the time really. Especially now that I have a total of 4 blogs to fill with endless musings. Of course 3 of them are the same, just on different sites. But still it is a lot of work. Plus I have family in town and I had to leave town and go to the Springs for some work and fun. It has been a little tiring. Not to mention that I have caught a cold from my lovely child and proceeded to lose my voice.
When I have more time in a day or two I will write what has happend over the last week. I love you all and hope to hear from you soon.
Blessed Be.